The “Release the Gracken” incident has shocked the Starcraft community. In this post, I’m not going to state the what, when, why, how of this incident as this is more publicised than my blog for sure. IdrA actually gets me to do a short self-evaluation.
Disclaimer: I will not write the way I usually do. The language may offend you.
IdrA answered pretty much everything you can ask for in the video. What he’s going to do etc.
In the video, IdrA basically can be as frank and well-carried as humanly possible. I will go as far as saying that if he’s as sensitive as the way he expresses himself in this video, things could have been very different. He chose his words well and yet he did not hold up a “I have to behave in front of camera” image in the video. Personally, I think it’s the perfect balance. There are two things that particularly stood out. One is his optimism, he labelled this incident as an opportunity. I’m not sure how shit he was feeling deep down, but to say that it was an opportunity on the next day of the release requires character. The other is he always put things on perspectives. He emphasized that it was completely normal on EG’s perspective. Again, this is not easy.
In comparison to IdrA, I didn’t recover as quickly as he did. I received my own share of shit in past months. I was depressed because there were people who tried to destroy me and was rather successful. These fucks (yes, the exact word IdrA used) who include people I called friends conspired against me. Everything just turned shit. Now I’m trying to recover mentally and try to get things back on track at the same time. It is easy to say that “you can’t change anything now, and start to do something about it.” I told myself that too, but the effect was greater than I expect and I have a hard time to balance between reality and optimism till now. IdrA approached it the way I want to as he said in the video at 20:49.
It was a definite shock… It’s been like a family… And so to have that all go away in a split second is shocking…. But pretty quickly to move on to plan my future. I have to sit there and think about it for a while. I don’t enjoy sitting around feeling things, I much rather be planning a course of action figuring out what I’m gonna do or figuring out at least how to make things stop sucking. So I just kinda focus on that.”
In contrast, I can’t take those incidents off my mind and think about them everyday. Think about those fucks and all their shit, what they don’t deserve and how they rob me. Of course, I did want to move on and make things right especially when I’ve plans ahead of me. My morale fluctuates more than my girlfriend’s mood. One moment I was highly motivated and told myself “today is the day to get things right” , and then “fuck this shit. Fuck these fuckers” just slapped me back to the starting point again. Not productive. Not motivated. Just slump. I wonder if the root of the problem lies with the fact that I can’t mentally balance my thoughts about their current states and mine. In reference to IdrA, I put myself on their perspectives. Well, I simply wouldn’t do what they did.
I should adjust my thoughts and motivate myself by doing things right to do better than these fucks. Now that is motivating.